Never Be Late

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and sold his sister's jewellery to buy a gun. I was appalled.

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'....

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late....

Love,

Smit

Do you believe in God???

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem 
science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and …..

Prof: So you believe in God? 
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good? 
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful? 
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is

this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fellow. Is God 
good? 
Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good? 
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from? 
Student: From…God…

Prof: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? 
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil? 
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible

things exist in the world, don’t they? 
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them? 
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the 
world around you. Tell me, son…Have you ever seen God? 
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God? 
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have 
you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter? 
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him? 
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science 
says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son? 
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat? 
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold? 
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega 
heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything 
called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we 
can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is 
only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.

Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of 
it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You

can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light….But if 
you 
have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t

it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were you would be able to make 
darkness darker, wouldn’t you? 
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man? 
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed. 
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is

life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the

concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science 
can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has 
never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that 
death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of 
life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a

monkey? 
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of 
course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? 
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the

argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work 
and 
cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not 
teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The 
class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s 
brain? 
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, 
felt 
it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to 
the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science 
says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face 
unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir… The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all

that keeps things moving & alive. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation…and if so…you’ll 
probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same…won’t you? 
…… . this is a true story, and the 
student was none other than……… 
Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the Former president of India.

Love,

Smit

Narendra Modi's Open Letter To Anna Hazzare

Respected Annaji, 

On the eighth day of fasting in the Navratri I am inspired to write to you early at 5 O’clock in the morning. 

When you were sitting at fast in Delhi during that period, I too was fasting on the occasion of Navratri, the period that symbolizes the embodiment of Divine Shakti. I was pleased indeed that by the grace of Maa Jagadamba I happened to be a co-traveller in your crusade albeit indirectly. 

Observing the Navratri fast and being busy in election campaigning, I was fortunate to have the darshan of Mother Kamakshi in Assam. Your fasting was in progress and naturally I did pray to Kamakshidevi about your health and I feel certain that a divine power has been kind enough to bestow her blessings on you. 

Yesterday I was back from Kerala campaign to Gandhinagar at 2 am. 

And it was yesterday that I got the encouraging news of your expressing kind words for Gujarat and me. 

I am fortunate and grateful to get your blessings. 

Respected Annaji, my respect for you is decades old. Before I entered politics I was full time RSS pracharak. At that time national leaders of the RSS who came to attend our meetings invariably discussed your rural development activities so that it could be emulated. It has tremendous impact on me. In the past I also had the good fortune of meeting you. 

I and my state of Gujarat are indebted to you for the courage and conviction you showed in saying good words for me and my state. In this show of courage you exhibited commitment to truth and a soldier-like conviction. And because of this your opinion has been universally accepted. 

I request you to also bless me that your praise does not make be complacent and commit mistakes. 

Your blessings have given me the strength to do what is right and what is good. At the same time my responsibility has also increase many fold. Because of your statement crores of youth would now be having great expectations and therefore even a small mistake of mine will disappoint them. Therefore I have to remain vigilant and I seek your blessings for the same. 

Respected Annaji, in this delicate moment, I should say that I come from a simple family and am a common man too. In my family no one is even distantly connected to politics or remains close to power; I do not have illusions that I am a perfect individual. Like a common man I too have my own limitations; good and bad qualities. 

I pray that I am always blessed by Mother Jagadamba so that bad qualities do not take possession of me. Always thinking of doing good to Gujarat, I would devote myself to the progress of Gujarat and therefore like to wipe out the tears from the face of the poor. For doing all this I pray that I am never short of your blessings, and this is my humble request. 

Respected Annaji, you are a Gandhian and a soldier. Yesterday during election campaign in Kerala when I heard about your blessings for me and my state I feared that you will be subjected to vilification. A certain group inimical to -Gujarat will not let go this opportunity to malign your love, sacrifice, penance and commitment to truth. They will try to tarnish your name because you spoke well of me and my state. 

As bad luck would have it this has come true. Once again this inimical forces have come to the fore. On the occasion of Navratri I pray to Maa Jagadamba that no one sullies your fair name. 

You will be aware that whosoever talks good of Gujarat he or she will be subjected to the vilification campaign. 

In the past a senior Muslim parliamentarian from Canoor constituency hailing from the Communist Party Shri P Abdulla Kutty was ostracized from the party following his praising of Gujarat’s development. 

The superstar of this century Shri Amitabh Bachchan when he worked free for Gujarat Tourism was also attacked by this same group of inimical forces. They spread falsehoods against Bachchan so as to snap his old ties with Gujarat. At a public function in Mumbai where Bachchan was invited this group had stopped him from entering. 

Also a campaign was let loose to malign the leading Gandhian of Gujarat Shri Gunavant Shah who is speaking for the atma-gaurav of Gujarat. 

Maulana Ghulam Vastanavi of Gujarat who was elected as head of the Darul Uloom of Deoband was also subjected to vilification campaign when he praised the development of Gujarat. He had publicly said that Gujarat is surging ahead on the road of fast paced development, and without any religious discrimination everybody was getting the fruits of development. Soon he was silenced by undue harassment by the same forces. 

Recently, Major General IS Sinha of Golden Katara division of Indian Army when he praised the development of Gujarat he too was beleaguered by the same forces and there was even a demand for disciplinary action against the major general. 

These are only a few examples. But Gujarat’s real developmental journey is an anathema to this group bent upon heaping calumny on my state. Whenever the name of Gujarat is mentioned these forces immediately swing into action to spread canards and falsehoods. 

Respected Annaji, Gujarat’s six crore people do not want that, the same group should sadden you. 

I am still afraid that, this group will put you in trouble. May God give you strength. 

I humbly bow to the sacrifices and penances you have made for the country. Let God bless you with supreme health so that many like me would be beneficiary of your guidance. This is my heartfelt prayer. 

Yours, 

Narendra Modi

Elder Sister's Question

When her brother was born, Sa-chi Gabriel begged her parents to leave her alone with the baby.

They refused, fearing that, as with many four-year-olds, she was jealous and wanted to mistreat him.

But Sa-chi showed no signs of jealousy.
And since she was always extremely affectionate towards her little brother, her parents decided to carry out an experiment.

They left Sa-chi alone with their new-born baby, but kept the bedroom door ajar so that they could watch what she did.

Delighted to have her wish granted, little Sa-chi tiptoed over to the cradle, leaned over the baby and said:

“Little brother, tell me what God is like. I’m beginning to forget.”

Love,
Smit

CHILDREN ARE QUICK

CHILDREN ARE QUICK            ____________________________________  TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America ..  MARIA:        Here it  is.  TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered    America  ?  CLASS:         Maria.  ____________________________________    TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?  JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.  __________________________________________  TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'  GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'  TEACHER:  No, that's wrong  GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.    (I  Love this  child)  ____________________________________________  TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?  DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.  TEACHER:   What are you talking about?  DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.     __________________________________  TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.  WINNIE:       Me!  __________________________________________    TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?  GLEN:          Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.    _______________________________________  TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I"  MILLIE:       I  is..  TEACHER:   No, Millie..... Always say, "I  am"  MILLIE:       All right...  "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."       ________________________________  TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.                         Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?  LOUIS:         Because George still had the axe in his hand.....      ______________________________________    TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?  SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.    ______________________________  TEACHER:        Clyde, your composition on  'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?  CLYDE   :          No, sir. It's the same dog.     (I want to adopt this kid!!!)  ___________________________________  TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?  HAROLD:     A teacher  ____________________________ Love, Smit